A letter to my daughter

 

My dear daughter,

You are not born yet but I just wanted to let you know that you are so loved. Not just by me but by so many already. I want to be 100% honest about my feelings and tell you the good, the bad and the ugly in this letter. I know my therapist said to just write about the good things but I wanted to get everything off my chest. 

Let's start with the ugly. 

I feel like I have been making some headway in therapy and working on my past traumas but I will say that for a while now I wasn't happy with your grandma. I'm not talking about your grandmother on your Appa's side but mine. Honestly is the best policy and I haven't really been 100% honest with myself lately. All I can say is that I am disappointed. I am disappointed in her and i'm disappointed in myself for allowing all of this to affect me the way that it has. My mother has made it her life's mission to keep my father's name in the family. I was named after him after he died & from there it has just gotten progressive since announcing my pregnancy. Before anyone knew you were a girl she kept bringing up how she wanted me to continue on his legacy, she was ADAMANT that you were a boy and that my fathers spirit was talking to her telling her that you were in fact a boy. She wouldn't accept even the idea of you possibly being a girl. It's like the thought of you being a girl couldn't be possible because she was SO SURE you were a boy. She got her hopes up and when we finally told her what you were it was evident she was mad. She didn't even try to hide the fact that she was disappointed that you weren't a boy. What should have been such a happy moment turned sour because of her attitude & I am ashamed. 

The bad.

Sigh. I ended up talking to your aunt and decided to cancel my flight back home to see my mother. I honestly thought that it was the best decision. After her reaction and what she said I just didn't want to go knowing she was disappointed about your gender. I just didn't want to put myself through that and I didn't want to be affected by her words anymore. Yes, I will remember how she ruined such a happy day but I will move on and focus on you & Appa. You guys are my family & I will do everything in my power to show you guys how much you mean to me. 

The good.

YOU ARE SO LOVED! You have no idea how much you are so loved little one.