It’s been exactly 8 days since my daughter took her first breath into the world. At least 8 days since writing this post... My birth experience wasn’t what I expected. In fact it was the complete opposite of what I was expecting. 

As you guys may already know. Our Baby 🍓 was born on September 6th which landed on a Friday. Hubby and I went in for our very last doctor appointment. Her original due date was September 9th but the universe definitely had other plans for us. 

My doctor came back into the room and was immediately like we’re concerned with how high your blood pressure is & with the swelling of your feet we’re worried about preeclampsia & we want to send you to Labor & Delivery to have some tests ran on you. 

Well you guys can imagine how that went. Ran all the tests they needed and everything came back A okay but they still wanted to deliver baby girl the same day rather than waiting on Monday. Imagine my surprise when being told you are going to meet your daughter today and not in a few days. I, didnt have time to process what was going on because everyone just started bustling around us. Setting me up with an IV & all that jazz to then just wheeling me off into surgery to have a c-section. It was a BLUR! 

Next thing I knew I was ugly crying and being handed my daughter. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions. I couldn’t feel majority of my body and here was this tiny human who came out of me. So many thoughts rushed to my head. Was I ready?! I thought I had more time! Oh my goodness she’s so little! Wow she has a set of lungs on her! WOAH ALL THE HAIR! Trust me the amount of thoughts that crossed my mind was 1938483993 a second. 

I think my mind went blank the moment they brought her into the recovery room. They wanted to do skin to skin and attempt to get her to latch for breast feeding. Which didn't go well. I meant the breast feeding not skin to skin. I didn't know that my milk supply was going to take a few days to come in since I had a c-section. It was what it was and I enjoyed bonding with my baby in that moment. 

I was admitted Friday & I was discharged on Sunday with no complications ( at the time ). They made me get up and walk to pee, walk to the door etc and everything was fine. Had light bleeding and I literally thought that everything was normal UNTIL...we got home. On Monday evening I was eating dinner and when I stood up to go and pee I saw a lot of blood ( ending up tossing out the bedding ). We called L&D and they told us to go to the ER. So, we packed up baby girl and headed to the ER so I can get evaluated. Let's just say this is where EVERYTHING goes downhill. I was in so much pain I couldn't stop crying, they came in to take my blood and jabbed me 3 times...couldn't find my vein, messed up on IV placement ( then casually said whoops as I am bleeding out of my arm )...like I said it was a shit show. 

A random nurse called up to L&D to speak to my doctor and she told her to just send me to L&D so that they can take care of me themselves. Yes, it was much better than how they were treating me in the ER but not by much ( with certain nurses not all ). I had to have a blood infusion, iron infusion and magnesium. I was being pumped with so much shit that my left arm swelled up in size, became hard as a rock and they had to remove the IV. It was the most painful experience of my LIFE! Even my c-section itself wasn't that bad! 

Overall, whilst I hated being pregnant I don't think I ever want to go through this experience ever again. I still have all the bruises and scars from where I was poked with needles and when they used the BP ( blood pressure ) cuff on me to track my levels. Now that I am home for sure the amount of medication I have to take is insane. 

I love my babygirl and every time I look at her I am so thankful I brought her into the world healthy. Now back to our sleepless nights with our new born lol. 

Born on Friday, September 6th at 4:18pm weighing 7lbs 13.2oz 20in. My healthy baby girl was brought into the world. From the moment I laid my eyes on her i wanted to protect her. I’m currently trying to type this out as she’s lying in my arms. I love to just look at her. She’s so perfect that I just want to give her all the love I have in the world. It has only been a day but I find myself thinking about how I grew her for 9 whole months. The most torturous 9 months of my life but the life I have created from it…just wow. 

Right now I am sitting in awe thinking…holy shit I created a WHOLE ASS HUMAN! I am her protector, someone she will admire and look up to and it freaks me out. I am scared shitless that I might be a horrible mother but then my husband reassures me that I will be an amazing mother who will break the generational curse. I want my daughter to be able to communicate with me about anything that is bothering and take her thoughts and feelings into consideration. I will listen to her when she has issues with me and tell her I love her every single day. Because I do. I love this little girl. She makes my heart feel so full. 

To my daughter. Thank you for coming into my life. Not just mine but your Appa’s life as well. 

38 weeks & counting. I cannot believe that we are in the last stretch of this pregnancy. Last night it was intense. Hubby and I both thought that I was going into labor because I was having such strong pains in my lower abdomen. The pain was so persistent I didn't know whether or not it was contractions or just pains. Baby strawberry was moving around so much yesterday so I think she's okay in the moment. 

Granted it is a whole new day. I am currently sitting down on the couch since hubby told me that since she can come at any moment now. So, I am sipping on an iced coffee & hoping to feel her move around. Deep down I think that I might not feel her move around as much today since she was on a mission yesterday. My belly did drop a little bit lower as well which is another indication that YES she can come at any given moment. My hospital bag is packed and it's sitting in the trunk of the car at the moment. We have to put the base for her car seat back into the car this week as well just in case she wants to make an early appearance. 

We're pretty much finished her room as well. I do have to wash the sheet that her bassinet came with again just in case she decides to bless us early. We have one more ultrasound appointment then she's HERE! I still sometimes cannot believe that I am having a baby. I am still freaking out on the inside but I know hubby and I are going to be great parents to our little strawberry. 13 more days until our official due date <3