I cannot believe that I just disappeared again. That was something I didn't want to do...I definitely wanted to really get back into writing, posting and sharing. I won't lie...life has obviously changed drastically. So, I wanted to give you guys a bit of a BIG life update. Are you ready? Grab a drink because this is probably going to be a long read. 

Last time I posted was about my insane birth story and how our daughter came into the world & the after care I received after being readmitted into the hospital. Let's pick up from there shall we? 

Life with a newborn was rough paired with healing from a c-section & lack of sleep. Thankfully my husband took over most of the night shifts so I wouldn't get up. The newborn stage went by so quickly and before we both knew it...we had a 1 month old baby. She was still so small and required so much care but eventually we developed a rhythm together. From feedings, to changing and even sleep schedules we had our own pace and our little strawberry was such a good baby. It's crazy to think now she's 8 MONTHS! 

Let's skip a bit cause I don't want to make this post to long lol. We moved from Montana ( finally ) & have settled in Illinois for now. It's been such a change since leaving Montana. We go out more to spend more family time together doing fun things like going to the Art Museum, the Aquarium, to see The Arch, Ikea ( there is no Ikea in Montana ) etc... 

I have been slowly putting our home together ( less space than our last place ) and I am currently working on my coffee bar. I am so picky on how I want it to look a specific way & have been going back and forth to Ikea a few times to make returns or exchanges etc BUT I have FINALLY settled on the look and have to make ONE more Ikea trip to complete it. Maybe I should do a vlog about it cause it's been hilarious and I am pretty sure my husband is over all my shenanigans lol. 

Like I mentioned above our little strawberry is now 8 months. Time flew by so quickly. Her little milestones bring us so much joy.

She can: laugh, roll over, say mama ( in both English and Korean ) she's definitely a mama's girl for sure, she can sit up on her own, she's trying to crawl, she LOVES food like both of her parents, she also loves meeting new people. Her personality has definitely started coming out more. 

I just started physical therapy so I can fix my pelvic floor ( I am in lots of pain ) and I never got it checked out I just lived with the pain and my husband said no that's not normal so now I am in physical therapy and I am doing 2 sessions a week until I am able to be bumped down to 1 session a week. So far I am loving it even though I have only had 2 sessions but babygirl LOVES my physical therapist! Dare I say that she's obsessed. 

I think that I will stop here cause I can go on forever. Thank you for reading and sticking around whilst I took a small hiatus. 

It’s been exactly 8 days since my daughter took her first breath into the world. At least 8 days since writing this post... My birth experience wasn’t what I expected. In fact it was the complete opposite of what I was expecting. 

As you guys may already know. Our Baby 🍓 was born on September 6th which landed on a Friday. Hubby and I went in for our very last doctor appointment. Her original due date was September 9th but the universe definitely had other plans for us. 

My doctor came back into the room and was immediately like we’re concerned with how high your blood pressure is & with the swelling of your feet we’re worried about preeclampsia & we want to send you to Labor & Delivery to have some tests ran on you. 

Well you guys can imagine how that went. Ran all the tests they needed and everything came back A okay but they still wanted to deliver baby girl the same day rather than waiting on Monday. Imagine my surprise when being told you are going to meet your daughter today and not in a few days. I, didnt have time to process what was going on because everyone just started bustling around us. Setting me up with an IV & all that jazz to then just wheeling me off into surgery to have a c-section. It was a BLUR! 

Next thing I knew I was ugly crying and being handed my daughter. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions. I couldn’t feel majority of my body and here was this tiny human who came out of me. So many thoughts rushed to my head. Was I ready?! I thought I had more time! Oh my goodness she’s so little! Wow she has a set of lungs on her! WOAH ALL THE HAIR! Trust me the amount of thoughts that crossed my mind was 1938483993 a second. 

I think my mind went blank the moment they brought her into the recovery room. They wanted to do skin to skin and attempt to get her to latch for breast feeding. Which didn't go well. I meant the breast feeding not skin to skin. I didn't know that my milk supply was going to take a few days to come in since I had a c-section. It was what it was and I enjoyed bonding with my baby in that moment. 

I was admitted Friday & I was discharged on Sunday with no complications ( at the time ). They made me get up and walk to pee, walk to the door etc and everything was fine. Had light bleeding and I literally thought that everything was normal UNTIL...we got home. On Monday evening I was eating dinner and when I stood up to go and pee I saw a lot of blood ( ending up tossing out the bedding ). We called L&D and they told us to go to the ER. So, we packed up baby girl and headed to the ER so I can get evaluated. Let's just say this is where EVERYTHING goes downhill. I was in so much pain I couldn't stop crying, they came in to take my blood and jabbed me 3 times...couldn't find my vein, messed up on IV placement ( then casually said whoops as I am bleeding out of my arm )...like I said it was a shit show. 

A random nurse called up to L&D to speak to my doctor and she told her to just send me to L&D so that they can take care of me themselves. Yes, it was much better than how they were treating me in the ER but not by much ( with certain nurses not all ). I had to have a blood infusion, iron infusion and magnesium. I was being pumped with so much shit that my left arm swelled up in size, became hard as a rock and they had to remove the IV. It was the most painful experience of my LIFE! Even my c-section itself wasn't that bad! 

Overall, whilst I hated being pregnant I don't think I ever want to go through this experience ever again. I still have all the bruises and scars from where I was poked with needles and when they used the BP ( blood pressure ) cuff on me to track my levels. Now that I am home for sure the amount of medication I have to take is insane. 

I love my babygirl and every time I look at her I am so thankful I brought her into the world healthy. Now back to our sleepless nights with our new born lol. 

Born on Friday, September 6th at 4:18pm weighing 7lbs 13.2oz 20in. My healthy baby girl was brought into the world. From the moment I laid my eyes on her i wanted to protect her. I’m currently trying to type this out as she’s lying in my arms. I love to just look at her. She’s so perfect that I just want to give her all the love I have in the world. It has only been a day but I find myself thinking about how I grew her for 9 whole months. The most torturous 9 months of my life but the life I have created from it…just wow. 

Right now I am sitting in awe thinking…holy shit I created a WHOLE ASS HUMAN! I am her protector, someone she will admire and look up to and it freaks me out. I am scared shitless that I might be a horrible mother but then my husband reassures me that I will be an amazing mother who will break the generational curse. I want my daughter to be able to communicate with me about anything that is bothering and take her thoughts and feelings into consideration. I will listen to her when she has issues with me and tell her I love her every single day. Because I do. I love this little girl. She makes my heart feel so full. 

To my daughter. Thank you for coming into my life. Not just mine but your Appa’s life as well.