1st Trimester Blues

As the date when we find out the gender of our baby ( I still cannot believe how quickly this experience is flying by ) I wanted to reflect on what the first trimester was like for me. 


Morning sickness is definitely a myth & I think at this point I had all-day sickness. The first sign for me that something was up was that I was constantly exhausted. In my last post I mentioned how during the car ride to the ski resort I fell asleep & I just couldn't shake my exhaustion hence why when we got back home my husband suggested that I take a pregnancy test to see whether or not I was pregnant. The first trimester just amplified my exhaustion x100. Then the nausea started. It was HORRIBLE. I literally felt like I was dying all day everyday! Waking up feeling sick, the smell of anything including my husband making me throw up, your boobs becoming more sensitive and larger, constantly wanting to pee and just overall hating the experience. I started getting jealous because of the girls on social media saying how their pregnancies have been a breeze whilst I am here dying and not wanting to be around people lol.

Throughout my first trimester...I definitely disappeared off social media. Which included Instagram, YouTube, Lemon8 & the only app that I was posting on was Threads which is kind of like Twitter or wait it's called X now. At this point we had only shared our pregnancy news with our families and a few of our closes friends plus my husbands supervisor so he could attend all the appointments with me. Other than that we kept this secret under wraps until I was clear out of my first trimester. 


This is where things get a little dicey for me. Since my husband is military I had to get referred to an OBGYN and schedule my first appointment. They normally pick your OBGYN for you but you are able to call and request who you want to see which I liked cause I requested Dr. Dressen. She had rave reviews on the spouse page so I knew I wanted to see her which I was SUPER glad I did. 

Our first appointment was them confirming our pregnancy. I definitely didn't know that they were going to stick the wand inside but they said they needed to cause the baby was so small. We didn't hear the baby's heartbeat during our first visit but we did see it. If that makes sense. They said our baby's heartbeat was strong and everything looked good & that they would schedule our next appointment for us. It was kinda weird that we didn't hear the heartbeat & we weren't allowed to film our baby. I guess Montana is very different in that case. 

This is where my anxiety started becoming worse. I was so sick that trying to keep anything down was torture. There was a moment where I was surviving off of plain bread, crackers and water. I was being told that I needed to do this and that to ensure my baby was healthy and growing but by allowing others to give me their 2 cents on what they did during their pregnancies...I was doubting myself and how my body was creating room for my little one. Was I being a good mother, was I doing enough for my baby etc. It was a lot so in the end after meeting Dr. Dressen and sharing this with her she recommended me to see a prenatal therapist. Dr. Dressen also came to the conclusion that the prenatal were actually working against my body ( at this point I tried 3 different brands ) and they all made me so SICK! Now that I am only taking folic acid...I don't feel like death anymore. 

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